if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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