Say something about gay babies.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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