Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
