He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Randomize
