I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
