it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
