Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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