Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
