Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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