Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
