i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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