i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize