Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize