My first STD was from a foam party
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
