there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
