you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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