I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
