My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
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We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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