I feel like abortions should bother me more
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
