What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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