i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize