Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
