have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
