Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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