Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
