i think i have herpe
just one?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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