Plan B is the new Plan A
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
the raccoons are back...
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