is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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