im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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