i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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