From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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