You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
