im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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