you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
