Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
