I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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