is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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