she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
that is very illegal...i love you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
