I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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