well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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