i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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