Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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