we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it's like heaven, but drunker
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
