Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
