i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
