maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
