I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
