Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
