I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
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I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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