There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
