I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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