Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she peed on how many people?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.