The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.