my mouth tastes like poor choices
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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