ADVERTISEMENT

• (810): View more from Michigan

  The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!

  Fav 1 1474 2134

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...

  Fav 20 7616 2324

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (727): View more from Florida

  Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.

  Fav 36 7460 1731

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?

  Fav 5 3741 1191

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (631): View more from New York

  i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth

  Fav 16 1186 4492

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me

  Fav 8 4611 1300

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job

  Fav 26 1400 5537

  share tweet
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  my self respect just called, its having a good time without me

  Fav 9 3434 1449

  share tweet
  

• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

  Fav 6 1140 1958

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (415): View more from California

  I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.

  Fav 4 1432 588

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.

  Fav 2 1081 585

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Update: It didn't work

  Fav 1 509 741

  share tweet
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much

  Fav 0 725 494

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..

  Fav 1 631 703

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (517): View more from Michigan

  Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.

  Fav 4 615 427

  share tweet
  

Randomize