Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
