I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
