Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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