careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
