you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize