You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I need moral support for this bender
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
