I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize