stop calling my apartment porn island.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
