I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
