I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize