I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
