note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
