but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
