I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
