Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
