Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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